The Ultimate Cocktail Party
Two perfect hors d'oeuvres, a music mullet & a simple batched cocktail
You walk into a candlelit room with the light of flickering flames bouncing off the crystal candelabras. Jazz plays in the background with the occasional nostalgic stutter from a record player spinning in the corner. A ribbon of smoke seems to twirl along to the rhythm, dispersing the aroma of the eucalyptus scented incense.
Bundles of white flowers in hand painted ceramic vases adorn the table tops. More flowers hang from vines from the ceiling.
Someone hands you an amber colored drink in a crystal glass with a giant hand cut cube. As you sip, a perfect balance of smoky orange notes, cocoa and honey delight your tongue. On every tabletop is an antique metal platter full of decadent bite, dates stuffed with goat cheese wrapped in perfectly crispy bacon held together by toothpicks. A bowl of blood red cocktail sauce is surrounded by a ring of perfectly pink shrimp, adorned with lemon wedges and slices of cucumber.
A wavy red glass bowl is overflowing with potato chips. Next to it a dish of creme fraiche and a small tin of caviar on ice with a pearl spoon to assemble the perfect bite. The centerpiece, a cake embellished with buttercream swirls and fresh cream colored flower petals.
Slightly tipsy, you wrap a piece of prosciutto around the speckled ruby interior of a fig and a stark white chunk of salty feta. Your closest friends gather around giggling and reminiscing, cherishing their own savory bites of food. You catch the eye of your lover from across the room and you both grin in anticipatory nostalgia for this very moment.
No, it’s not your wedding night. No, you haven’t died and gone to heaven.
You are immersed in the fantasy vision I had for my 30th birthday party…and before you say anything, I know, I know. The whole thing is pretty *extra* but I am a Libra after all and we do enjoy the finer things in life!
Naturally, things didn’t go as I planned.
Right when the first guests arrived, I knocked over a jar of stuffed peppers, soaking everything on the counter top with an orangish oil — an unwelcome addition to the plethora of half empty cracker boxes, cheese wrappers and dirty dishes that were strewn about as far as the eye can see. Upon arrival, a two year old immediately went to grab the incense right on the burn-y part, so that was quickly nixed. I never got around to getting the power cord for the record player so I played music on our little black speaker instead.
I spent the night talking only to anyone willing to help me in the kitchen and by the time I finished making and serving all the snacks, people were getting ready to leave. Also, I live in an apartment, not Elvis’s honeymoon hideaway so there’s really only so much I could do in terms of ambiance.
All that being said, I honestly had a blast running around like a chicken with their head cut off, trying to get my snacks out to the crowd of twenty friends. It brought me back to my restaurant days and reminded me why I fell in love with the food industry in the first place. And my friends were so sweet and hilarious and kind and let me have my moment. The cake was fucking delicious and I had a good laugh at myself for going to so much trouble.
I guess this is 30.
My menu was a bit ambitious and not exactly executed in time, but a full week later, Max hasn’t stopped talking about “the spread we pulled off.”
I love food. I love creating a beautiful experience. And I love the messiness of life that prevents anything from going quite as you planned. That’s how we learn and what would a party be without a few spills, anyways.
If you are planning your own birthday (or non birthday) cocktail party, here are my tips/lessons learned:
Keep the menu simple!
This was my menu and while it didn't seem crazy (to me) at the time, it ended up being more involved than I had the time or money for. One killer cheese board and two or three more involved snacks is plenty!
More bacon wrapped dates, less shrimp.
And you HAVE to make the bacon wrapped dates. It’s literally three ingredients and people could not get enough. My mom used to make them at dinner parties as a kid and they were even better than I remembered. Sweet, salty, rich perfect bites!
Bacon Wrapped Dates
10 pieces of bacon
20 dates
4 oz of goat cheese
Method:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Line tray with slices of bacon. Cook for about 10 minutes.
While the bacon is cooking, slice open the dates lengthwise, remove pits and fill with goat cheese (don’t over stuff, they should be able to mostly close back up).
When bacon has slightly cooled, cut each slice in half. Wrap each half slice around a date and secure with a tooth pick. Bake for an additional 10 mins on a fresh sheet of parchment paper until dates are warmed and bacon is crispy. Add a little sprinkle of flaky sea salt and black pepper. Serve immediately!
Provide non alcoholic drinks.
I was so grateful that Xio brought some GHIA spritz drinks because it turned out a few people at the party weren’t drinking. They’re a lot more fun than a plain sparkling water, especially in a glass with some ice and a garnish.
Don’t make your own cake!
Even if you’re a cake queen, I just think you deserve to be treated to a special cake of your choosing on your day. Take things into your own hands and order the cake you’ve been lusting after. I ordered mine from
and am still mad at myself for not taking more pics! Pictured below is one of Kassie’s cakes with a similar look as mine. Run, don’t walk! She’s going to be pivoting away from taking cake orders in the next few months.
@ibakemistakes on instagram 
Kassie is THE sweet genius, I swear to god Let your friends help!
I told a lot of people not to worry about bringing anything, but in retrospect, it would have been way easier to go potluck style (if I hadn’t been such a control freak about the menu lol). I did outsource the deviled eggs and that saved me (Max) from a night of egg peeling. Thanks Maggie!
Make a batched cocktail.
I was really happy with how the cocktail turned out and I think a batched cocktail is great because you don’t need special tools or to shake each individual drink. Just pour on ice. Mine was made of mezcal, honey, orange liqueor and chocolate bitters. You can find the exact recipe and other ideas on this list from Epicurious:
Fuck it. Buy the caviar!
I called and/or went to like five different stores to track down some caviar and you know what, it was worth it. You can hardly call it a recipe, but a potato chip with creme fraiche and caviar is just the perfect bite of food.
Take pics!
Or ask someone to be the designated pic taker. I wish I had more pictures of the food to share with you, but I guess I just have to throw another super extra get-together.
Start with bossa nova. End with 80s dance music.
It’s the mullet of party music. Start the night classy and end it dancing alone in your underwear to Salt-N-Peppa.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
It’s just a birthday. It’s just a party. You can always throw another one next year! I have a tendency to set my expectations too high for all the big events of the year, but I find that the older I get, the more easily I revel in the mundane and the less I ruminate on the coulda shoulda woulda’s. And that in itself is something to celebrate!
(But next year, my birthday is gonna be super low key, I swear!)
ANYWAYS, thank you all for reading and for being here! Last week’s birthday post is THE MOST LIKES I’ve gotten on a newsletter to date and that makes me feel so loved and supported. So thank you thank you thank you!
Moving forward, I’m going to continue to share essays AND a new(ish) series of recipes from friends. My hope is that it will inspire me to branch out in my cooking while sharing great recipes with you and featuring cooks that I admire! If you have an original recipe that you would like to be featured on the newsletter, email me directly and we’ll make it happen.
Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll see you next week. You can find me on instagram and tiktok until then.
Pan con tomate anytime, anywhere.
Sounds lovely! And honestly, a spread can make a party✨
Just had a I-made-too-many-dishes-that-took-a-lot-of-time-and-am-kinda-locked-in-the-the-kitchen party myself. It was fantastic because the guests were.
My next one will definitely include those dates! (And maybe the less dishes.) Thanks for the recipe! 🫀